01 June, 2012

Bay !!!!



(Image Courtesy : 123rf.com via Google)

It’s been a while since we’ve had any of those Abhayisms that Abhay (who else ??) had been famous for a few years back.  One of the things he seemed to have shed whilst growing up were his Abhayisms .  This was rather unfortunate because he could come up with the weirdest of responses when you least expect them and in the midst of a cheeky, wacky response, this guy could make complete sense.  It was logic wrapped in the Abhay brand of humour.  So like I said earlier, it has been a while.
Justin Bieber is a bone of contention among the siblings.  While Macadamia listens to Justin Bieber and is, as such, a huge fan of the said singer.  Pecan, on the other hand, hates Justin Bieber with equal passion.  As such, this makes interesting viewing for the spectators around when Bieber happens to be the topic of conversation.  The sparks soon begin to fly and both siblings hold their ground, pretty much like bulls in a ring, snorting and gnashing their teeth, stamping the floor with their feet, making little clouds of dust fly up into the air.  Eyes narrowed, hands on hips, they stare at each other, each willing the other to give up in this battle of wills.
Pecan has steadfastedly maintained that Justin Bieber looks “gay”.  Every time he says that, it used to make me wonder if he knew the meaning of the word “gay”.  On being asked one day, he simply said “Gays are when boys marry boys”.  OK – whatever !!  According to Pecan, who always has an opinion and clearly states so, Justin Bieber is definitely gay – he dresses gay, his haircut is gay blah blah blah ….. Suffice to say that Justin Bieber has never ever been in Pecan’s good books and I doubt if that’s about to change anytime soon  now.
The other day, we happened to be having a chat just before bedtime.  The conversation moved lazily from one thing to another.  The conversation flowed, lazily but smoothly .  It was an easy, cosy atmosphere, there was nothing in particular that anyone was saying but like I said before, the conversation flowed.  Very soon the conversation veered towards the Lady Gaga concert in HK.  Talk happened about her meat outfit and meat shoes and about the numbers that she had belted out at her concert and in the midst of all this, Macadamia goes “Is it true that Lady Gaga is a transvestite ?”. “Many of my friends say that she cross dresses while many others say that she’s gay too”  said Macadamia. 
Pecan, who was listening rather raptly, piped in with his own take on the situation.  “But she can’t be gay”  he says.  “And why not ?” shot back Macadamia.  “How can you be so sure, huh ?”  “You keep insisting that Justin Bieber is gay, right ?  Now if Justin Bieber can be gay, how can you be so sure that Lady Gaga is not ?” 
“But she cannot be gay”, countered Pecan.  “Why is that ?”  countered Macadamia.  “Girls can be gay too, you know ?  They are called lesbians”  said Macadamia, sounding like one of those oracles who nod their head and put thoughts into people’s heads.  “She cannot be gay”, disputed Pecan.  “She SO is !”  argued Macadamia.  This went on, with Pecan egging Macadamia on and on and on and on. 
Finally, as things reached a head, both of them were facing each other like one of those Clint Eastwood cowboy movies – hands on the gun, ready to draw and shoot within the blink of an eyelid, staring each other down (trying to, rather) and Pecan yells “She cannot be gay – She is BAY” and then goes off into what I can only describe as peals and peals of laughter.  “Justin Bieber is a boy who is like a girl so you change the “b” to “g” and you get “gay”.  The same way, according to Pecan Logic”, Lady Gaga is a girl who is like a man so you change the “g” to “b” and you get “bay”.  I, for one, had thought that Abhayisms were a thing of the past.  Quite apparently, the past does rear its head and say “hello” to the present !!
Who knows, the lesbian community, worldwide, might just have got a new name that day.