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A trip down South of India, to where
else but the one and only Singara Chennai !!! Oh God !! I groaned
when I saw the letter which bore the magnificent (so people think) crest of the
agency that I work for. OK – make that “the agency which is
fortunate enough to be able to avail of my esteemed vision and
skills”. The words “photo shoot in Chennai” leapt out at me as
though they had a life of their own.
In absolutely tandem with my
thoughts, Annie Lennox began to croon “Why ? Oh Why ?” on the IPod
Dock. Very apt, I thought wryly. Why indeed ??!! I
thought, in a rather dazed stupor as I tried to think of ways and means to get
out of this sticky situation. This was sticky – literally and
figuratively. Ever visited Chennai during the summer months ?? I
bet the Chinese did not because if they had, they would have found a far better
substitute to the Chinese Water Torture. They would have discovered the
Chennai Summer Torture !!
The little red light on the answering
machine was blinking rather seductively as I walked in through the door.
What I was focused on, however, was the oppressing heat and humidity that the
entire world seemed enveloped in. To top that, the traffic in Mumbai had done nothing to help that feeling of oppressive smother that was beginning to take
its hold on me and make its presence felt.
About half an hour later, with
the air con humming and with me feeling a lot more human, I decided to
just call in a pizza for dinner. Whilst cooling off with an ice lemon tea as I waited for the pizza to be delivered, I decided to listen to the voice messages on the
phone. “Hi Babes !!!” floated the voice out of the telephone. I
blinked in disbelief as Kyra went on, her voice as light and breezy as a
Matheran summer “Babes – I’m coming over to Mumbai next week and guess what ?”
she crooned as only Kyra can “I have the whole week off”. “Take that long
overdue vacation, will ya and let’s go gallivanting around India” said Kyra,
making everything sound so very easy and possible, like she always
did. Kyra – whom I’d met once during a photoshoot for Lakme
products. Kyra – the quintessential sunshine Diva who, even if she
were modeling to promote coconuts, had
the ability to make the nut look like some exotic treasured fruit, putting alphonso mangoes to shame.
I was a mixture of feelings –
disappointment at the fact that I could, in no way, take the next week off
because of the blessed photo shoot in Chennai and excitement at the fact that Kyra
was visiting after so long. Kyra the Sun Fairy, we used to call her
during our college days. Kyra the cheerful – she was jovial, positive,
optimistic and sunny. Even on the darkest of rainy days, just Kyra’s
presence could make one feel like one was basking in sunshine on one of the
lovely beaches in Goa.
As I sunk my teeth rather guiltily, in
to another slice of pizza, the
idea began to take root in my mind. Why not ask Kyra to accompany me on
my photo shoot and maybe part of the shoot? It would make life fun in
Chennai. To be honest, I was totally tickled pink at the idea of
letting the lively, bubbly, vivacious Kyra loose on the mamis in
Chennai. That should be some combination, I thought to myself, not
suppressing the giggle that had erupted – the little giggle that soon had me
laughing hysterically at the very thought of a size six Kyra and the super-sized
mamis of Chennai.
When I called Kyra and asked her
whether she would like to accompany me to Chennai, she had absolutely no
qualms. “Of course, babes! Why would I mind a paid holiday ?!” was
all Kyra said “The idea is to spend time together and I don’t care whether we
visit Chennai or the Arctic” she said, in that typical “Kyra Voice” – soft, sultry
yet full of the little girl charm and innocence. “A week in Chennai
and the weekend under the sun in Tiruvananthapuram (Tri-van-duh-pram for Kyra) sounds
fantastic” she said, her voice all alight with excitement. A slow
grin made its way across my face as I envisioned spending a week together with
Lakme’s Sunshine Girl Kyra.
Now the mamis in Chennai, I knew from
previous experiences, were a force to be reckoned with. The first
time I’d been to Chennai the indomitable Chennai mamis had quite literally
dominated my senses – in the true sense of the term. They could be
heard, seen and smelt all around, at any given time of the day. I
remember watching groups and groups of mamis waddling along noisily, thanks to
their flip flops, at the vegetable markets and in the markets at T.Nagar and
Pondy Bazar.
I had almost been blinded by the Chennai mamis – thanks
to the amount of blings they flaunt openly and outrageously. The
traditional eight diamond “vaira thodu” glittering on their ears only to be
matched by the traditional three stone “mookutthi” (nose ring) perched on one
side of the nose – the right side. Some of the mamis, traditional to
the core, would have noses emanating sharp shards of light thanks to
the noserings on both nostrils – diamonds, of course !
I had been able to smell the Chennai
Mamis all around – not in terms of body odour – but more so in terms of talcum
powder. That first trip to Chennai left me with a firm belief that
Chennai Mamis must have been born holding a box of talcum powder in their
hands. They love talc. Yo Lakme – you listening
??!! Chennai, being really hot, people get tanned super quick. A huge natural tanning salon, a hot cauldron
meant to super tan skins. Chennai Mamis have a traditional remedy to counter
tanning. A remedy that has been handed down generation after
generation – talcum powder !! Before she leaves home, a Chennai mami
slaps on a generous amount of talcum powder on her good self – which is to say
– quite a bit – given the average size of a Chennai mami. Now for
the secret !! She also tosses in a generous amount of talcum powder
on her handkerchief and tucks the handkerchief rather primly and safely into
her blouse. Once the heat hits, the skin starts to slowly broil and
tan, quite often resulting in a look that reminds one of an over roasted crisp. The
mamis in Chennai have a simple solution to this – they lather on more talcum
powder from the handkerchief. Every mami
in Chennai lathers on heaps of talc in the hope that the talc refracts the sun
rays upward, into space !! Quite a sight
they make too - leaving in their wake little white clouds as they walk away
like apparitions from Cirque de Soleil !!
If left to their good selves, the Chennai mamis would lather talcum powder all over the Arctic as a solution to
global warming. With the polar ice and
glaciers melting at a dangerous pace, Chennai Mamis would say “talcum powder to
the rescue”, reflecting sunlight back into space.
“These mamis could well do with some
Lakme Sun Expert”, I said to Kyra who giggled her approval. “We
could introduce them to it” she said, still giggling. “It would be
much better than just talcum powder”, I said. “Yeah”said Kyra “and
since most mamis in Chennai are computer literate, we could ask them to log on
to www.facebook.com/ilovelakme to get in touch with more mamis who are already
benefiting from Lakme Sun Expert”, she said. “Would it not be fun to watch
the Chennai Mamis reach into their blouses and whip out tube after tube of
Lakme Sun Expert ??” giggled Kyra.
As I drifted off to sleep that night, I
remembered watching sharp shards of light shimmering down at
me. When I looked up, all I could see was scores and scores of
Chennai Mamis, their diamonds refracting light all over and in the midst of
that crowd stood a smiling Kyra, arms outstretched, offering tubes after tubes
of Lakme Sun Expert to the milling mamis. The sun shone brightly above
them, embracing them in its heat but the mamis cared no more. Accompanied by Kyra, they lay on the pristine
beach in Kovalam, their plus size bikini clad bodies stretched out on the
sand. “Bah
!! Who needs talcum powder anymore maa ?” crooned the mamis. “Talcum powder is wonly for the Eskimos in
the Arctic fighting global warming!”
The mamis now had the Lakme Sun Expert
Power and they had begun to revel in it.
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