02 April, 2012

Brace Brace !!!

No - I'm not talking about an emergency situation in the airplane. I'm talking about our life - as it stands or runs nowadays. Life sure gets more and more interesting by the day. That is to say that life does get more and more interesting if what you have on your hands is a pre-teen, who is steadily and surely behaving like people behave when those hormonal swings have a sure and fast hold on them. Like the saying goes, what makes sundaes interesting are the toppings. Likewise, to add to the already existing hormonal moodswings that we face from the pre-teen a.k.a Macadamia, we also have on hand a nine year old to-be who insists on behaving, for the most part, like a thirteen or fourteen year old – in terms of attitude and what have you.

Did I not mention earlier that life is indeed very interesting nowadays ??!!

Macadamia’s vocabulary has had us spinning around pretty much like headless chicken for a while now. Pecan seems to be going the same way. Sometimes, to hear them fight with each other (for that is what they do, for the most part) is like listening to a commentary from some far off world. It sounds like alien communication of a weird sort what with the short forms and abbreviations thrown in rather liberally. To us, who distinctly belong to the previous generation or maybe a couple of generations before them, just to keep pace with their language is something I find rather exhausting. It is strenuous, to say the least.

Those “r”’s are twirled and curled so tight before they are spat out vocally that it kind of reminds me of a frozen spring roll ready to explode into action. Those “like’s” in each and every sentence reminds me of gourmet Indian delicacies which have had an overdose of mustard seeds. “See, like this is like not really like the way it is. You like keep saying that like just about like every second dude !!” “S.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y” !!!!!! Even the “seriously” has an intonation of its own. I guess the IPA is sorely outdated. They need to keep pace with this generation of kids and to do that, they like so like need an extended version of the IPA chart. I mean - seriously – what are they like thinking !!!!!

Now things have gotten a notch better. Previously we used to find it difficult to understand what they were saying. Now, trying to figure out what Macadamia is saying is like trying to scale a Mount Everest which has soap pouring down its sides. Things have gotten considerably more complicated since Macadamia’s got her dental braces. Yeah, they went on last week. Since then, I’ve been sorely tempted to walk around the house with one of those translator things plugged into my ears. Would definitely make things easier !!!

While on the subject of braces, it makes me wonder if there is some way of transference of pain. OK – If I’m beginning to sound as though I’m high on something, pardon me. It is just that the Easter Holidays have begun and a few hours in the midst of Macadamia and Pecan hurling missiles at each other (which, by the way, is about 18 hours out of 24 on an average cos they are asleep for about 6-7 hours a day and quite apparently they haven’t figured out a way to hurl verbal missiles at each other whilst asleep !!!) does tend to do that to me. It is like having a local anaesthetic – you feel totally numb initially and then the sensation starts to creep in – slowly at first and before you realize it, the floodgates have opened and you are bombarded by zillions of those neuro transmitters inside your head zinging around like vehicles without brakes. Needless to say, it is like Star Wars inside your head – all the time. So yeah, that’s probably why I sound, right now, as though I’m high on something. Trust me, it’s just the Nutty Sibs – nothing else.

Yeah, back to the transference of pain theory. The first couple of days after the braces went on, she was in bad bad pain. It brought on the tears and made me wonder as to why there isn’t something that could help transfer that pain to someone else – a.k.a me. Just in case you are beginning to think that I’m wishing that fate upon my neighbour, you are mistaken. I’m quite noble that way, just in case you have not realized !! To say the least, it was difficult to watch her suffer. Really difficult. At the same time, we could not turn into mush ourselves because the dictates of life are such – No Pain, No Gain – is what life says.

Another difficulty that our little gourmet aficionado is facing right now is the fact that food (everything) has to be either soft or has to be cut into small bits – pretty much like feeding babies. She cannot bite into a chicken wing, she cannot eat almonds or cashews or any such thing, she cannot eat peanut brittle (something she absolutely loves), she cannot eat toffee (cos that is sticky and tends to get stuck on the brackets), she cannot bite into a muffin fresh out of the oven. Even the batch of brownies that I’d made for the Nutty Sibs today, the same ones which had turned out decadently fudgy, had to be divided into bite size portions and each portion had to be eaten separately. Cannot help but say Poor Macadamia and this is despite the fact that both the Nutty Sibs drive me completely nuts in a matter of seconds J.

Wonder how many moms watch their daughters go through childbirth. Way into the future, if need be, I’m sure I wouldn’t hesitate to be at her side if she needs that sort of support. But I cannot help but think of just about how many times moms would wish that they could take away atleast a wee bit of pain away and onto themselves. I can just about see Macadamia rolling her eyes in a way that only Macadamia can and saying “Seriously ?????!!!!!” but yeah, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Right now, Macadamia is away at a birthday party and I can only guess what she must be doing – cutting her slice of pizza into bite size pieces cos she can’t bite into one !!! (sigh) Not Fair, is it ?? Having to cut a pizza up into small pieces instead of just digging into that slice of cheesy goodness. I know. But just to make her feel better - I’m waiting for her to get back just so that I can start bugging and ribbing her about it. What ?? Did you just say – How Mean !!. Did you ?? Seriously ??? Well, what can I say ? I’m really really mean that way !!! :-)

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