03 January, 2012

Of resolutions and then some .....

Image courtesy : michellehenry.jr via Google

Another year has flown past. Another has begun. As the seconds tick past, the minutes dwindle away and the hours merge and fuse, one into another – we will see yet another year go by. Our wise ancestors did not coin the phrase “time flies” for nothing. It makes so much sense.

I, for one, have fallen out of the habit of making the notoriously infamous “New Year Resolutions”. There was a time when I used to make New Year’s Resolutions – many of them. There was a time when I used to religiously write down the resolutions I’d made. That was a time in my life when I used to religiously forget things too !!

There was this time when I resolved not to eat chocolates through the year. You know, it is true that human beings go through these shades of insanity. I must have been going through one of those when I made that particular resolution to myself. No chocolates for a year !!!! Who was I kidding ??!! But I did. Once that moment of insanity had passed and I saw things clearly for what they were, I realised what I’d done and more quickly than I’d put down that resolution, I dissolved it !!! I simply cannot impose such things on myself. Oh No !! I can’t !!! That was about the time I decided that these “food based resolutions” were simply not my cup of tea. See – there I go again with a cup of tea.

Why make resolutions in the first place ? I asked myself then. I mean, why make life difficult for oneself, eh ? “I won’t do this. I won’t do that.” The very next day begins the battle of the wills. And with me, my will is definitely stronger than that of my resolution. The situation gets resolved and the resolution gets dissolved just as soon, if not sooner.

There was this time when I swore (read resolved) to go off “fried stuff”. The intense craving that hit me the very next instant had to be seen to be believed. So I decided to put myself out of this misery. “No more resolutions” became my motto and believe me, it has worked fine for me. Without a resolution breathing down my neck, I seem to achieve what I had set out to, anyways. Just that when the word “resolution” comes into the picture, my mind automatically rebels. Gah !!

The same works the other way around too. There was this time when I’d said to myself that I would do weight training every single day – well, almost. And through that year, my mind worked on the belief that once a week is quite equivalent to every single day of the week !!! How it came to that conclusion, I know not. But I do know that through the whole of that year, I barely touched the dumbbells. I rest my case !!!

There is one thing that is irking me, though. Big time !! It has been a couple of years now (maybe more) since I stopped posting regularly on this blog. NO – that is not to say that I regularly post on some other blog. I stopped writing regularly and I stopped posting regularly. Posts became sporadic and the sad part is, that did not bother me at all. I should have but it did not. Just the other day, the penny dropped. Like with almost everything else in life, writing / blogging too takes discipline. I mean, it is so easy it is so very very easy to let go, sit back and not pick up the threads again. I find that I’m getting used to “not blogging” or not letting those words in my head flow onto pen and paper.

It is pretty much like letting yourself go and eat a bag of chips every single day of the week. When you weigh yourself at the end of the week, you realize that the weight has indeed crept up on you and settled rather comfortably around your middle – pretty much like an unwelcome guest. And yet again, pretty much like an unwelcome guest, it just refuses to leave on being coaxed and cajoled. It has to be pushed away, in a rather determined manner. Problem is, people like me have to hang on tooth and nail to the little determination that we’ve been blessed with – which is to say, not much !!

So, the blogging / posting thing is one thing that I need to aim at changing. See – I did not “resolve” to write more often – that way I’m sure it will never get done. I’m just nagging myself (trust me – I’m good at it J) – the nagging, I mean – not the writing. I’m nagging myself to get back into the habit of writing and posting regularly. I really need to. Knowing me, unless and until I push myself back into this habit, it ain’t gonna happen.

So yeah – that’s me – fingers and toes and everything else that’s possible, crossed – hoping that I get back into some semblance of regular blog posting, hoping that I have enough determination left in me to put those thoughts down on paper or in cyberspace.

For the rest of you determined souls out there, I do sincerely hope that you can hold on to your resolutions, if you have made any. Even if you can’t, I do sincerely hope that you don’t have any regrets about not holding on to those resolutions. You have me for company !!

Resolutions or no resolutions, here’s wishing everyone a 2012 filled with love, peace and good health.

2 voice(s) said so:

Sumana said...

First of all wish you a very happy new year Gauri. I am sure in the same boat as you. No food resolutions for me. Even a day of fast gets so tough. So i just keep a check on what i eat every moment and make my resolutions hour by hour cannot do the yearly resolution thingy. Sad me.

Random Thoughts said...

Why yearly resolutions when you are not sure you will wake up the next day?!

What about a daily resolution everyday morning that,

Beginning today, I will create a new future by creating a new me. No longer will I dwell in a pit
of despair, moaning over squandered time and lost opportunity. I can do nothing about the past.
My future is immediate. I will grasp it in both hands and carry it with running feet. When I am
faced with the choice of doing nothing or doing something, I will always choose to act! I seize this
moment. I choose now.

- extracted from 7 decisions by Andy Andrews