27 January, 2010

I'm not a baby anymore !!!!!

I have been, of late, tumbling down memory lane quite often.

The scenes that play across the screen of my mind are those in which I often find myself growling at my mom and the dialogues are pretty much based on the same theme – “I’m not a baby any more so please stop treating me like one”. There have been instances when I’ve recalled having said the same thing to my mom, but in a tone of absolute resignation. The tones differ, the situations were different as was the manner in which the sentences were spoken. The central premise or subject matter or argument (whichever way one chooses to look at it) was however, the same. “I’m not a baby. Would you please stop treating me like one ?”

All my mom had to say then was “You won’t realize how a mother feels, now. Wait until you have children of your own and then you’ll know.”

This quote on her part (as I’m sure is the case with a lot many moms) never failed to evoke a snigger or a snort or a guffaw of laughter from me. This guffaw would also be accompanied by a “yeah, sure” which used to ooze and drip sarcasm. The icing on top of the cake, as I do distinctly recall, was a “roll of eyes heavenward”.

The other day, Pecan came back from school and announced that they were going on a field trip the next day. Hence, their teacher had asked them to bring in their snacks in Ziploc bags and not in their snack boxes.

The next morning dawned bright and clear and I’d packed up Pecan’s snack (a swiss roll) in a Ziploc bag. Macademia and Pecan were having their morning fuel a.k.a a cup of Ovaltine. All was quiet until I suddenly realized that it would be a good idea to put Pecan’s name down on the Ziploc bag. “There will be a number of Ziploc bags and what if the snack gets mixed up with someone else’s ?” I thought to myself as I approached the table with a black marker pen. I did not hear Macademia’s muted giggles as I religiously wrote Pecan’s name on the Ziploc bag.

“Why do you have to put my name on it ?” asked a completely perplexed looking Pecan.

“Just so that it does not get mixed up with someone else’s snack.” I countered.

“Mummy, we are going to be carrying our own snack bags. No one is going to carry it FOR US. So how is it going to get mixed up.” asked a rather exasperated looking Pecan.

“Oh !! You are going to carry your own snack bag ? Please make sure you don’t drop your snack bag along the way or forget it in the bus, OK ?” I told Pecan, blissfully unaware of the delightfully amused look Macademia was sporting, as she watched the early morning entertainment unfold.

“Oh ! And do ask someone to open the pack for you.” I continued, totally missing out on the rather horrified looks that Pecan was shooting my way.

“I know how to open a Ziploc bag !!!!” said Pecan, eyes as wide as saucers, a look of utter disbelief on his face.

“Not the Ziploc – I’m talking about the pack of swiss roll” I said, still not realizing that Macademia was not on the chair anymore. I guess she must’ve been rolling on the floor in total mirth.

“I know to open that too !!!!!!!!” came the reply from Pecan – each word measured, clipped and concise.

“I’m not a baby, Mummy. So don’t worry about my snack, OK.” said Pecan, who had absolutely no idea of the effect those words had.

A while later, as both Macademia and Pecan were to leave home to take their school bus, I realized that Macademia had rather pointedly ignored the school jacket which had been set out for her. And well, it was really cold and windy outside.

“Wear your jacket, will you ?” I told her, which promptly evoked a rather bored “I’m not feeling cold” response from her which, in turn, made me say “It’s really cold and windy outside. So please wear that jacket.”

“You know Mom – I pretty much end up looking like a snowman in all these layers of clothes that you make me wear. Some of my friends walk in wearing their PE shorts ok, shorts !! and I look like the cheery snowman with like – 3-4 layers of clothes on me !!!!!!”

“It’s better to keep warm than to fall sick.” I responded.

“You know what Mom” said Macademia, with a rather thoughtful look on her face. “Why don’t you give me a carrot and a snowcap too – that would so totally complete the picture. I could actually go in as a snowman.” said Macademia.

“It’s cold outside. Don’t you understand ?” I asked her, totally horrified at the thought of Macademia walking into the horrid weather outside without proper winter gear.

“I’m not a baby, Mom. I k.n.o.w when I’m feeling cold. That jacket is going to fry me” said Macademia – with that “roll of the eyes heavenward”.

Right at that moment, life pretty much came full circle for me.

Yeah, mom – I heard myself say, albeit reluctantly. You were right in saying that for a parent, a child remains a child, no matter how old they are.

It did not take long though, before a rather amused smile appeared on my face. That amused smile soon gave way to a rather delighted grin when I realized that I now had a sure shot dialogue in my arsenal, to use on both Macademia and Pecan, when the situation so demanded.
I could picture myself telling them “You won’t realize this now. But you will – someday. Wait until you have children of your own and then you’ll know.”

I know that I can try this line on them very confidently, simply because I now know that it works.

It really does.

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26 January, 2010

Good Morning, Wakey Wakey !!!

….. is how the whole thing would start – every morning !!

If there’s one act that feels like a never ending climb on Mount Everest, it absolutely has to be the act of waking up Macademia and Pecan in the mornings. There are days when Mommy has come dangerously close to contemplating pouring a bucket of water over their heads. The only thing that stopped her from doing so was that sliver of doubt that a bucket of water might not accomplish the task either. All it would do was leave Mommy dear with the rather enviable task of laundering a whole load of wet bedsheets and pillow covers – not to mention – the mattresses !!!

Head would prevail over the heart (oh yes ! the heart used to scream out aloud saying “go get that bucket of water and do it now !!”) and the idea would be dropped, much to the heart’s and to Mommy’s chagrin.

Noise simply was not having the desired effect – or rather, noise was simply not having a.n.y effect. The infamous Teddy Bear alarm clock would scream until it seemed like its lungs would give way any minute, the poor Teddy Bear would try in vain with its multiple greetings of “good morning”, in an effort to wake atleast one of the nutty siblings – but all was in vain. The neighbors probably used to wake up when the Teddy Bear screamed but nah – not Macademia and most definitely not Pecan.

Mommy has, plenty of times, tried to shake them out of their slumber. Needless to say, that strategy has not been anywhere close to a success either. Mommy would pat herself on the back when Macademia would open one eye and start rumbling and grumbling like a dormant volcano about to erupt. “Ah ha ! That’s one down – one to go”, Mommy would think and get busy shaking the other sibling. Whilst efforts got underway to get Pecan to wake up, Macademia would find the path towards rather blissful sleep once again. Just as Pecan would start swatting Mommy’s hand away like one swats a rather errant fly, Mommy would be entreated to the sounds of Macademia’s soft snores – yet again !!!

It is small wonder that the joints of the bunk bed need to be tightened ahem … rather often. One thing’s for sure – Ikea’s bunk beds can withstand the force of an adult head pounding and thudding against it – rather repeatedly. In case any of you are in the same boat and need to rather desperately bang your head on furniture, you know where to shop !!!

Yesterday too was one such day when Mommy was at her wits end. Nothing – absolutely nothing – could rouse the nutty siblings. Pouring water was out of the question. The Teddy Bear had given up on these two a long time back.

Desperate measures were called for !!!!!!!!! Totally desperate and frantic, as life seemed to be getting out of control, Mommy paced the room, pursing her lips, whistling away to counteract the stress, wracking what was left of her brains, trying to figure out some means of waking Macademia and Pecan up.

And then, out of the blue, inspiration struck !!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Yes ! Inspiration struck and the idea was implemented – immediately and the effect it had was astonishingly effective !!!

Mommy now throws this question at you, yep – you ! :).

What do you think Mommy did to rouse Macademia and Pecan from their slumber ?? What was it that achieved the “near impossible”??

Tell, Tell !! Mommy's listening :).

Edited to add

Mommy's ITouch was put to good use that morning. Just the previous day, we'd watched the movie "3 idiots" and the nutty siblings had been really taken in with the song "all ij well". Playing "all ij well" out aloud that morning worked like a charm.

Just in case you're thinking that "all ij well" has made life easier for Mommy - you'd need to know that "all ij well" worked very well the first day, reasonably well the next day and did not have any effect whatsoever, on the third day.

Things, pretty much, are back to square one !!!!!!


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18 January, 2010

Human Body Encyclopedia !!

Conversations at home now center around the human body. For the most part, Pecan is found engrossed in the Children’s Encyclopedia of the Human Body. The fascination with how the human body works and what it does, how it does what – is quite apparent nowadays. Sometimes, a little too apparent, actually !!

The current Unit of Enquiry at school is related to the human body. Now, it would have been rather helpful if we’d known that before the Unit of Enquiry began at school. Fact remains that we did not.

Early on, when this unit began at school, we, the hapless beings at home, were frequently (read every day – multiple number of times in a day) entreated to a sort of Systems Analysis and Design of the digestive system – in all its glory.

There have been times when Mommy's caught Pecan staring rather desperately at the mirror, with his mouth wide open. Mommy, being the dolt that she is, assumed that Pecan was checking to see if any of his milk teeth were wiggling. Mommy, however, was later informed by the budding human body enthusiast that he was actually trying to see if he could get a look at his esophagus !!!

Mealtimes brought their own share of fun. “Boing Boing Boing Boing Plunk Plunk” came a series of weird disassociated noises and sounds one day, as Pecan was having his dinner. Looking rather rightly worried, Mommy planted herself in front of Pecan, who, with a rather amused look on his face, proclaimed “My food is now going down my esophagus”.

“Here is the peristalsis now” he’d say next – as he tried to twist and gyrate the body from his neck up to his tummy while Mommy sweated it out, hoping and praying that his antics would not lead to an urgently necessitated Heimlich maneuver.

“Did you know that the small intestine is actually very long ?” asked Pecan, one day. Mommy feigned ignorance, hoping to redirect Pecan towards the encyclopedia. She did manage to direct him alright – only to have him standing right in front of her in a matter of minutes – WITH the encyclopedia. “You don’t know anything about the digestive system Mummy. How is that ?” queried a rather disgusted looking Pecan. “Sit with me and I’ll teach you” said Pecan, quite literally dragging Mommy off to “teach” her about the digestive system. “You are so old Mummy. How come you don’t know anything about the human body ?” asked Pecan, a frown burrowing his eyebrows – as her rather mercilessly interrogated a rather defenseless Mommy.

Thus, the whole family has been regaled with “more often than necessary” inputs about the human digestive system – in all its abundant glory, peppered with scientific terms. Mommy declines to go into details here. She rather knowingly says “trust me – you all. You really don’t want me going into details here.”

Yesterday, just before Pecan was tucked into bed, came a whopper. “My bronchi are expanding”. “Your what ?” said Macademia, looking distinctly amused with her younger sibling. “My bronchi” came the solemn reply from the younger sibling. “Can’t you just say – air is going into my lungs or that I’m breathing in ?” queried a rather bewildered looking Macademia. “The air traffic is just going into my lungs. It has not reached the lungs yet. It is just passing through the bronchi r.i.g.h.t n.o.w. Get that ??” said a rather enlightened looking Pecan. That look of enlightenment elicited one of the Macademia Specials – that roll of the eyes heavenward accompanied by a “Yeah Right !!”.

So, over the past couple of days, the entire household is being “informed” about things like asthma and alveoli and what have you. Makes Mommy wonder what lessons we’ll be having today !!

“Why does one lung have only two lobes while the other lung has three lobes ?” queried Pecan, a couple of days back. One thing's for sure. Pecan is making sure that all of the lobes in Mommy's brain are being kept busy.

Mommy sincerely has begun to wonder exactly how many other “systems” the school is planning to cover in their current Unit of Enquiry. Needless to say, given Pecan’s curiosity, delving deep into some of the “systems” of the human body, are going to be mighty sticky affairs.

Mommy, for one, senses and anticipates a cacophony anytime in the near future – as in a chirping of birds and the buzzing of bees ????!!!!

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