14 September, 2010

The AFV "formula"

(Image courtesy : fotosearch.com via Google)

P.J.O'Rourke once said "You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

Well, kids nowadays have many other ways too, of letting their parents know that they're growing up.

Take the other day, for instance.  It was a Saturday and America's Funniest Videos was playing on TV.  As is normally the case, the nutty sibs were watching people fall down and hurt themselves, people breaking things, people setting their own hair on fire and all that.  You know, stuff that is normally dished out on AFV.  But yeah, the kids are pretty much fascinated by it and all of us do make it a point to watch the same every Saturday.
The other day too, they were glued to the telly and I had just about begun to fade (yeah, that happens to me when people around me are falling or getting hurt all the time !!) when Pecan suddenly perked up.  The nutty siblings are normally found guffawing during AFV or grinning at the telly (in the hope that it is going to grin back at them, I guess !) or finding loopholes in the programme segments.  But that particular day, the way he suddenly sprung up from the sofa meant there was something somewhere that had caught his attention - big time !!  Something out of the ordinary.

I did not have to play the guessing game for long, because a few seconds later, Pecan yelled "Hey ! She's got breasts ! "

At that given moment, I knew exactly how cattle feel when they are prodded with an electric prod !!!  You actually get an electric shock that races through the length of your body and you stare in horror and wonder whether it is the electricity that's making you "hear" things or whether you actually "heard" what you heard !!

"Hey !  She has breasts !"  Goodness Lord !!  And this, from a seven year old.  Help !!!!!!!!!!

Now if you're thinking that I was worried because of the vocabulary, that's precisely where you are wrong.  For the amount of reading that Pecan does, I'm sure he has come across the word "breasts" in a lot of places and I know that he knows exactly which part of the anatomy it stands for.  I was more worried about him throwing questions at me about breasts - throwing questions the way only Pecan can !!  To the point, a rather relentless downpour of questions which demand to be answered.  And at the fag end of the day, with my brain already fried after a whole day's work, to be at the receiving end of Pecan's queries can be pretty much exhausting.  Simply because he can just go on and on and on and on and on and on.  You get the picture, right ??  And quite probably, having started out on the topic of breasts, by the time Pecan is through grilling us for answers, we would probably have ended up somewhere in the middle of the Amazonian rainforest, wondering why there is so much of deforestation going on there. 

But then again, Pecan is Pecan.  His brain makes connections that I would not have even imagined about in the wildest of my dreams.  Add to this the fact that Pecan makes it a point to start the day by reading the newspaper.  So those connections inside that head of his have many new "connecting points" each and every day, thanks to this penchant for reading the newspaper.

End of Detour

Macadamia seemed to be in a state of shock too, watching her younger sibling staring at the TV screen, all wide eyed and acting as though he had a bee inside his clothes.

Just as she looked at me and rolled her eyes heavenward (yes, that famous Macadamia look), Pecan chirped once again "Hey look .... they're showing it again.  She's got breasts and she's so young". 

So young ??!!  he says.  So young !! , says a guy who's all of seven years old himself, mind you !!
Now that made me really look at the screen and sure enough there was this little girl who was prancing around with a couple of water balloons stuffed into her bikini top.  That explained all the hullabaloo.

"But how did that happen ?  She's so young." exclaimed Macadamia, who has, by the way, been officially crowned "The analyst" in the family.

"Simple" retorted Pecan.  "I'm sure she must have drunk that milk made out of the milk powder that they were selling in China" came the rest of the statement.  That's why she's got breasts when she's so young."

Who in God's name establishes a connection between AFV and some obscure formula milk sold in China ?

(sigh) Who else, who else but Pecan indeed !!  Such Pecanese "connections" are totally beyond me, I say !!

4 voice(s) said so:

Phoenixritu said...

Torn between ROFLing and thanking God my kids have grown up! Wonderful

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

All izzzzz well that endsssssss well

Aparna said...

Wow Pecan seems to be great at correlating information.. quite brilliant for all of seven years :)
I'll be getting there with the questions sometime soon i guess.. my children are 5 and 2.5 right now.. looong way to go before they're out of my wings!!


the mad momma said...

oh - its been so long since you posted something like this. and all from the little baby who thought his ice cream eraser was melting...