21 May, 2010

Kids and Lies ......

......... are said to go hand in hand, in some way or the other.

While every parent's first instinct is to say "My kid SO does not lie", fact remains that children do experiment with lies and lying in some form or the other.  Have we not seen and heard of kids going through phases wherein they have "imaginary companions".  

(Image courtesy : svmomblog.typepad.com via Google)

There could be instances wherein children lie to protect a family member or a friend or at times kids could lie to protect their own self-esteem.

No parent likes to see their kids lying or having to hear from someone else that their own child has been lying to someone about something or the other.  In fact, that is a scenario every parent dreads.

Parents use all sorts of warnings, deterrents, punishments and what have you ... in an effort to get their kids to stop lying.  Most parents learn to recognise those "non verbal" signs which indicate that the child is lying.  It could be just their inability or refusal to meet your eyes when fibbing about something, fidgeting around uncomfortably, constantly toying with things like their watch or hair or ears or clothes, some kids actually go pale in the face so much so that one look at them and the parent knows that the child is fibbing. 

Like everything else in life, the spectrum here too is very broad.  There are white lies, lies to protect their friends and such on one end of the spectrum and there is compulsive lying on the other end of the spectrum.  Either way, it does clash with most parents' ideals - since it is a thumb rule that honesty is an integral part of ones character.  And helping build and sculpt a child's character is something parents do take upon themselves, in varying degrees.

Vic sent me this link the other day.  In the light of what we've been taught as kids and what we've been trying to instill in Macadamia and Pecan, it did come as a surprise.

Then, yesterday, I came across this link and yet another one here.

As if parenting was not confusing enough, now comes the theory that kids who lie will be more successful later in life !!!

We've all heard of cultural confusions, gender confusions, mathematic confusions, astrological confusions .... the list is endless.

Well, welcome to the evergrowing list of "parenting confusions" too !!

Sometimes kids lie because they feel that they are not meeting their parents' expectations.  Sometimes it could be because they've done something wrong but are scared to admit it, for parental reaction is extremely harsh.

1 voice(s) said so:

rrmom said...

This almost seems to be in response to what I had written in my latest post. Vic sent me that article too. I completely agree with this parenting thing getting more confusing with conflicting views.