I personally feel that growing up abroad, in a lot of ways, insulates the children from being exposed to the Indian culture in all its abundant glory. Music, Fine Arts, Festivals and much much more. What they see abroad is a mini version of the culture that one steeps in back home.
My cousins back home don’t necessarily agree with this point of view. “Many of the children out here are so overburdened with school work that they don’t have time to imbibe any of the culture that you speak of. Arrey - end of the day your kids know more about the Indian culture than ours” is what they say.
The last time we’d been to India, people back home were amazed by the fact that Macademia and Pecan have a daily prayer routine and that they chant prayers that some of the adults in India have not mastered as yet. They were amazed by the fact that Macademia and Pecan were more than familiar with ancient mythological tales and epics like the Ramayana and the Mahabharata.
See, that’s precisely my point. Such things should not actually fall into the category of “amazing”. They are something that is expected of children growing up back home in India. So then, why should children growing abroad be given any concession ?
Macademia and Pecan don’t even speak our own mother tongue. Macademia does understand and tries to speak in bits and pieces but with Pecan, we’ve managed to make absolutely no headway at all. Truth be told, it is not a fact I’m proud of. But fact, it is. I do believe that children should know how to converse in their mother tongue and also the national language. My own kids don't.
But out here, this is a general trend that I’ve noticed. Hardly any kids speak their mother tongue and the language they automatically opt for in a conversation is English. They have to speak fluent English by the time they’re 3 ½ if they have to get admission in an English kindergarten and from then on it just goes on and on. English automatically takes precedence and in the case of Macademia and Pecan, somewhere along the way, speaking their mother tongue has been totally run off the road.
As parents, the onus is on us now to impart atleast some working knowledge of Hindi and our mother tongue, to both Macademia and Pecan. And this, we’re beginning to realize, is easier said than done.
Ever heard of the term “Third Culture Kids” ?
Third Culture Kids are those who have spent their growing years in a foreign land and experience a sense of “not belonging” to their passport country when they return to it. In living abroad, they have also missed learning ways of their homeland and feel most at home in the “third culture” that has been created.
This is so true – so true that it is worrying to a certain extent.
Macademia and Pecan, when we go over to Bombay, have not experienced the “real” Bombay – in any sense of the term. They are insulated there too. For them, as of today, Bombay or Kerala are holiday destinations and not their roots. The last time we had been to Bombay and were heading back to HK, I did hear Pecan mentioning to Macademia “Hey Aparna – today we’re going back home to HK”.
Exactly how much does being a “Third Culture Kid” affect their cultural identity ? Which culture do they identify with later on in life ?
With Macademia and Pecan, I’ve seen that they are conversant with Indian customs and traditions, the festivals, what the significance of each festival is, how it is celebrated and why, what are the traditions etc … but when it comes to speech, I’d even go to the extent of saying that they’re more comfortable with Mandarin or Putonghua than they are with Hindi or their own mother tongue.
We do realize now that as parents with our children growing up abroad, we need to go that extra mile (or make that a few multiple miles) in developing awareness and an appreciation for the “culture” they belong to alongwith the “culture” they’ve adopted.
The project on hand – which, needless to say, is going to be a long process – is to try and get Macademia and Pecan back on line with speaking their mother tongue and Hindi. What I’ve realized over a period of time is that it is indeed the parents’ responsibility to try and keep the languages alive at home and teach the kids to converse in their mother tongue. This would enable them to keep relationships alive with those members of the family who do not speak English. It will help maintain that vital link in both Macademia and Pecan’s life - a link that is so essential. Simply put, language is that vital link that connects different generations of the family.
Probably, they’d be able to relate better and understand the Indian culture better and to see themselves as a part of their roots.
Who knows ? A speaking knowledge of their mother tongue and their national language might well prove to be that crucial fundamental factor which would help them to make sense of which their dominant culture is, as they grow.
There are many of you who are in the same situation as we are today. What are your thoughts on these ? How do you opine ?
A penny for your thoughts ??













