01 June, 2009

The Saga of the Belly Button !!!

P.J.O’Rourke once said

“You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and when they refuse to tell you where they’re going.”

Well, we haven’t quite reached that grown up a stage as yet. The nutty siblings still do ask where they came from and things do get a little ahem ….. too close for comfort, if I may so say. So much so that I’ve actually begun to develop a very healthy respect for those who skate on thin ice with amazing ease.

If I were to try skating on thin ice with the nutty siblings throwing question after question at me, I’d probably go headfirst through broken ice into the icy cold water. And I might actually do that willingly !! Especially with the nutty siblings firing question after question …. of the rather sticky variety …. oh ! a dip in icy cold water is an easier alternative – anyday !!!

Now, for instance, the focus of attention seems to be the belly button. No ! Not in the cosmetic sense. This is interest generated from a scientific angle – or so the Nutty Siblings call it.

It all started with the elder sibling wanting to know how babies get fed when they are in their mother’s tummies. As an ardent lover of good food and having developed a fine taste for a huge variety of gastronomic delights, the elder sibling was rather horrified to even consider the possibility that babies could be starving while inside their mothers tummies.

Since this demanded an explanation, an explanation was indeed proferred by the hapless Mommy to the elder sibling, who lapped it all up - eyes growing wider by the second.

Now, not wanting to be left out the curious younger sibling wanted to know what was happening. So preening her feathers, pretty much like a bird, the elder sibling launched off and plunged headalong into what she would later realise, was pretty much like jumping off a cliff without a parachute !!!

“But what if they get hungry ?” she screeched, eyes as big as saucers – unable to comprehend why her younger sibling could not grasp the gravity of the situation. He simply was not giving the belly button its due importance and this was pretty much a sacrilege according to the elder sibling.

“They could call for something to eat, you know” said the wise one, a.k.a the Younger sibling.

“If they call for something to eat, do you think there are waiters inside mummy’s tummy” queried the elder sibling, sarcasm dripping pretty much like honey off a spoon.

“Ewww … you’re so dumb” came the reply. “They can call for something to eat from their mummies, silly” said the younger sibling – making expectant mothers sound like a walking, talking outlet of McDonalds or Pizza Hut or what have you.

“Yeah right !” said the elder sibling. “How does this sound ?” “Hey Mum – Muuuummmmm” “I’m hungry. Could I please have a Big Mac and a large Coke please” Oh ! And while you're at it - I could do with a large helping of fries as well. With ketchup on the side please ? "!!!!!

“But even if the Mummy eats …. how does the food go into the baby’s tummy, huh ?. Tell me Mister, tell me” queried the elder sibling.

There were a few moments of silent contemplation and needless to say while all this was taking place, Mommy was safe in the confines of the kitchen, feigning occupation with cooking up some gourmet stuff.

“Hmmm … maybe this is how it works” said the younger sibling. “See – the mummy eats the food and it goes into her tummy. Now the baby is in the tummy so if the baby is hungry – maybe it just looks up, opens its mouth and says Ahhhhhhhhhh and the food falls into its mouth ?” He pretty much made it sound like someone wishing upon a star and the fairies sprinkling magic dust on them !!!

“That’s not how it works, silly”. “The baby is connected to the mummy by a cord and the food goes through the cord” said the elder sibling, reveling in the knowledge and basking in the glory that she knew something the younger one did not.

“A cord ?” asked a rather dubious looking younger sibling. “You mean like a pipe ?” came the incredulous query.

“Yeah – something like that. It is connected from the mummy to your belly button” said the elder sibling, looking all important and pleased with herself.

“But see … if the mother eats something and the baby gets that food through the C.O.R.D, what will the baby do if it does not like that food ?” “If the baby wants chicken and the mummy eats broccoli …. ewwww …. what can the baby do ?” retaliated the younger sibling.

Just moments later, there came a screech of delight from the younger sibling who said “I know I know. If the baby does not like the food, it can just turn off the pipe”.

“Turn off the pipe ?” screamed the elder sibling. “What do you think it is ? A water pipe” ?
Babies just have to eat what the Mummy eats” said the elder sibling with an air of finality to the statement.

Mommy waited for a loud retort from the younger sibling – something like “Heeeyyyyy that’s not fair”.

But nothing happened.

Mommy, who was still safely ensconced within the kitchen, peeped out into the living room ….. and found the younger sibling seriously contemplating and thinking. The peace did not last long, though.

“Hmmm … you said this c.o.r.d was connected to the belly button right ?. Does this mean that I can look at my intestines if I look through the belly button with a magnifying glass ?” came the next question.

This whole conversation was moving to an extremely dangerous level !!

Before Mommy could slam the kitchen door shut and rest safe, the siblings barged in, demanding an answer.

“No – you cannot see your intestines or for that matter – anyone else’s intestines through their belly buttons” said a rather amused Mummy, all the while thanking the Good Lord for small mercies.

Because the younger sibling has, of late, developed this habit of peering into people’s throats (only the family members and not the people walking on the road - just thought I'd specify) with a torch in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other to see if they had tonsils or not.

Mommy could just about imagine the mayhem he would create, peering into belly buttons, if he thought the intestines would be visible in all their glistening glory through one’s belly buttons !!!

The nutty siblings were seen immersed in some Human Body books for a while after this. And just as Mommy thought that a semblance of normalcy was being restored in the living room and that she could step out of the safety of the kitchen without fear of being mauled by questions …… a little voice was heard asking “Hey Aparna ….. when the babies are inside their mummy’s tummy – where do they do wee wee and poo poo ?”

Before the siblings would launch another attack with their question guns, Mommy not just shut the kitchen door ………. she very securely locked it from the inside too !!!!!!!!!!!!

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8 voice(s) said so:

Just Like That said...

LOLOL! A priceless post!

mummyjaan said...

LOL!

Ahh, the "tummy conversations" - they're always priceless!

Kodi's Mom said...

ROFL!! the nutty siblings are an entertaining pair!

Altoid said...

LOL! I could almost imagine your reactions while following this most entertaining conversation.

Suki said...

You and your family make a priceless combination!

Anonymous said...

I am an elder sister and this post reminded me of so many such conversations !! The post was atrociously funny I couldnt stop laughing.

suburbanmom

dipali said...

Absolutely classic post! Hug them both for me, Gauri:)

Vidya said...

First time here. What a lovely and lively blog! Absolutely loved your posts Gauri. I have a six yr old that confronts me with a question gun every minute and I could totally relate to the belly button topic.