30 June, 2008

This is the way we have a fight, have a fight, have a fight !!!

Siblings !!!!!!!!!!

They are always around for each other.
They love each other to bits.
They absolutely cannot do without each other.
They stand up for each other … like – always.
They do so believe in sharing stuff with each other.
They never really scream or rave or rant at each other and even if they do – trust me – they don’t mean it.
Siblings vouch for each other – always – and are each others’ best alibis.

Picture Purrfect !!! Is it not ?

Well, if this is what a sibling relationship is normally like, then I can say one thing for sure. Out here, in the Krishnans’ household, right now, these above theories of sibling relationships and sibling love just does not hold true. Something really is awry and askew.
The nutty siblings express their love and affection for each other by having tiffs and arguments. Arguments over what ? Well, seemingly over nothing and everything under the sun. Its just that they seem most content and the happiest when they are arguing over something. So nowadays, as long as we hear long winded differences in opinion and noisy opinionated struggles to gain the upper hand in any given situation, life is normal. It feels so completely abnormal when they are at peace with each other, when we find them reading a book together or painting together.

Nah – not happening, not with the nutty siblings nowadays.

For them to be involved in any activity for that matter – together and without a tussle is akin to expecting the earth to come to a sudden stop and for the sun to start rotating around the earth. That’s pretty much the scene out here.

Yesterday evening too, there were arguments, shouts and screeches and screams from the kids’ bedroom and it all culminated in both the nutty siblings crying and copiously shedding a lot of tears.

If one is territorial about something, the other is hell bent on intruding into that very territory.

If one is working on the PC with one CD-ROM, that’s about the time that the other decides that he/she wants to work on another CD-ROM and like, immediately.

If one drinks half a glass of water, the other has to up the ante by downing one glass of water at one go.

Playing with Lego Blocks has taken on a totally different shape altogether (pardon the pun). More often than not, there are two different projects happening with the blocks and invariably both siblings end up wanting the same “red rectangle” or the same “blue square”. I mean, does it make a difference if one floor of a building has a “yellow rectangle” instead of a “red rectangle” ? Oh Yes !! It does !! Why ? Simply because there are so many yellow rectangles lying around but there is just one red rectangle. So yes – the situation does warrant a dispute !!!

If both of them are handed cups of juice to drink, the focus of attention shifts immediately to the other one’s cup – maybe in an attempt to glean whether mommy has been playing partial by giving the other sibling some extra juice. (Oh No ! Mommy values her sanity, or whatever is left of it, way too much to try and pull a stunt like that one.)

Give them tetra packs of juice and in all probability, knowing them and their current spate of bickering, they’d probably get down to measuring the length of the straw that comes attached with each pack of juice. And then fight over who has the better straw !!!!

Mommy has begun to wonder as to why nature does not make fruits rounded the same all over. It is so much more easy to divide such fruits into half, don’t you think ?

And Mommy does thank the biscuit factories for making biscuits the same size and shape. Oh !! Let’s not get into the topic of animal shaped biscuits here. That’s one place Mommy absolutely does not want to go right now !!!

Ah Haah !! That leads us to the topic of chocolate chip cookies. Mommy is seriously considering banning these sinfully rich concoctions from the kitchen and is threatening to leave the cookie jar empty. Why ? Simply because when handed a cookie, the nutty siblings have developed this habit of compulsively counting the number of chocolate chips on each cookie and stick their thumbs out at each other !!!

To cut a long story short, their main objective right now seems to be to irritate the hell out of the other. They simply want to get on each others’ nerves – by hook or by crook. And Mommy, for one, would vouch for the fact that the success rate of this particular endeavor as “Extremely Successful”.

In fact, there’s a bonus involved too. Not just each other – the two of them put together sure are irritating the hell out of Mommy too !!! It takes a lot of effort for Mommy to just restrain herself from pulling her crowing glory out – hair by hair. Pulling out the crowning glory in clumps would be a faster option in any given circumstance involving a tiff between the siblings but then – if Mommy were to pull all the hair on top of her head out at once, what in the name of God would the do the rest of the day while the siblings merrily fight and screech and scream and infuriate and aggravate each other !!

On the positive side, all these arguments and fights and tiffs are, for the most part, mental and vocal. Not physical. We are yet to see the nutty siblings get physical and thrash and kick and hit out at each other. The day that happens, whether they know it or not, whether they realize it or not, they sure as hell are in for serious trouble.

Mom and Dad refuse to mediate unless and until the situation worsens and is grave enough to warrant arbitration. For the most part, ignoring them seems to work. Because there is this one thing that I’ve always noticed. Whenever the two of them are alone at home, by themselves (which does happen occasionally when I need to rush to the supermarket and get some shopping done), there is no hint of trouble or tiffs or arguments. So then, if these fights are exacerbated by the presence of a parent, then, logically speaking, ignoring them should work. And for the most part, it does. Simple fact being – larger the audience, more prolonged the argument and tiff. Taking away the audience bit seems to work the same as depriving a fire of oxygen. The thrill fizzles out and they are left with no option but to sort out the mess which, in the first place, was created by them themselves.

Jane Mersky Leder once said
"The more parents intervene, the more siblings fight. And the bigger role parents assume in settling arguments, the less chance siblings have, to learn how to resolve conflicts for themselves."

If the argument is over rather minor and insignificant issues, then humor is apparently the key. Or simple distraction. The key to stopping the situation from worsening and escalating into something bigger.

And we also make it known that we do feel “happy” when we see the two of them playing together or doing some activity or the other together without going for each others’ throats.

The siblings have a whole month off from school to bicker and fight and argue and dispute and have rows and fall out with each other. Imagine that !! A whole month of summer holidays !!!
But then again, through it all, there still are those incidences when the fact that one sibling cares for the other shines through strongly. So I guess these tiffs, these fights, these arguments and the whole lot are a part of growing up, a part of learning to share their space, a part of learning the meaning of sharing, of teamwork, of assistance when need be and most importantly, one of being a support system for the other.

Like Pamela Dugdale once said
"Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way."

post signature

7 voice(s) said so:

Manjari Rai said...

What a narration! :)
Want to share this with you....my brother and I used to fight over Maggi noodles!!!! I still remember "loaning" him few strands of noodles and asking back the favour at a different occasion. Though I still maintain, he purposely used to gobble up his share to help himself to mine.
Hail to siblings worldwide!!!

WhatsInAName said...

I could see a repeat telecast of what happens at my place almost everyday!
What a relief to note that I have a shoulder to cry on and that I am not the only one clutching at my hair in despair!
But yes, though I do interfere when things get worse... I try to keep out as much as possible!
But then I think of my mom, and what torture she went through with my bro and me... hehehe! Life comes a big circle and how :(
I wish there was a school for Parenthood too; where they taught how to deal with all this!

Neera said...

Oh boy and I thought fights are supposed to get better as they get older! Heck !! I was banking on that :(

LOL on counting chocolate pieces on cookies :)

Good luck dear!

Itchingtowrite said...

i am itching to do my version of Ojas & tjas fights

Mama - Mia said...


thats was a super post to read! not only did it tell me, whats next, but also reminded me of my bro and me! :D

we had physical fights too, till he became too strong for me!! i sued my i am a lady now card!! :p

yet if someone pointed fingers at either of us, we would both fight together!

heres to fights that actually teach them to love n share and support!!''



dipali said...

This is so much a part of growing up. You have a good policy in place!

Mampi said...

Very Funny and so very true.
You are not alone...
we grew up arranging and indulging in such spats with our siblings
now the kids carry forward the flame.