09 October, 2007

Quirky Ole Mom !!!

Mom has been driving us totally nuts over these past few weeks saying “I’m swimming in a sea of tags”, “There are tags sprouting out of my ears and nose” (though we have not seen any, to be honest), “I’ve got so many pending tags to do” and the like.

She’s driven us nuts to such an extent that we just decided to pool our heads together, share our thoughts and help mom out by doing this tag for her. Atleast that way, we hope that we would not have to hang on to sanity by a sheer thread. Our sanity, we mean !!

Mom has been tagged by Aunty Moppet’s Mom and Aunty ChoxBox to list out five of her quirks. We’d rather refer to them as OCDs cos that makes us sound all grown up. Now someone who has lived with our mom would know that it is an extremely difficult task to list five of her quirky habits ….. errr …. OCDs.
FIVE !!!
Oh Boy !! Five quirks in mom is something we could dish out before one bats an eyelid. So, what we mean is that it would be very difficult to STOP at five.

We’ve always wondered why mom colour codes Dad’s wardrobe. All the jeans together, all the black trousers, all the blue trousers, all the grey trousers ….. shirts too ..... all the shades of blue are set out on hangers one after the other, all the white ones are set out one after the other, so also all the grey ones, all the striped ones ........... you get the drift right ?

When mom’s in the kitchen, we wonder, many a times, whether she’s in there cooking or constantly mopping the floor and the countertop. Water on the kitchen floor drives her insanely nuts. So for every ten minutes that mom is in the kitchen, it would be safe to assume that she spends three minutes mopping. That explains, in effect, why we end up eating such gourmet stuff (**eyes rolling**).

When mom is talking to someone standing, it is a good idea to disappear from the vicinity. Cos she has this habit of waving her hands animatedly while talking. Standing anywhere close to her is hazardous.

Try watching a movie with mom around. It can drive you to the depths of despair. She is forever looking for loopholes in the story or the script. A movie is a movie right ? Oh no !! Not in her case. According to mom, this is the reason why she does not watch any Hindi soaps on Star Plus – cos she says that these soaps have scripts which have loopholes the size of the Grand Canyon.

Mom also has this tendency to look for spelling mistakes in just about anything and everything that she reads. Ads, banners, wedding invitations, thank you cards, magazines, newspapers – anything !!! On this count, we’ve almost give up hope. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel here cos this habit seems almost compulsive. And the glee with which mom lays her hands on Aparna’s spelling book or her homework sheet makes Cruella De Vil seem like a saint in comparison !!!

Mom never steps out of the house without her eyeliner and perfume on. Even if she is on her way to the fresh market to stock up on vegetables – she has got to have her eyeliner and perfume on. In fact, when mom had to go to the hospital late night – the night Abhay decided that it was time to make his appearance into this world – she made it a point to wear her eyeliner and perfume before rushing off to the hospital. That’s really stretching things – dontcha think ??

Mom seems to have this premonition everyday that the whole of Hongkong would be dropping in for lunch or dinner. That’s how well stocked the fridge is. Or should we say – that’s how well stocked our fridges are. Oh Yes !! We have two refrigerators and if we manage to squeeze in a pack of bread into either one of the fridges at any given point of time – that’ll be the day !! The same goes for the kitchen shelves. We can virtually hear the shelves groaning out of all that weight they need to carry – that’s how well stocked the shelves are !!

The whole of HK coming over for lunch or dinner is something we can still consider plausible – knowing how loopy mom is. But picture this – the whole of HK descending upon us to take a shower at our place. Inconceivable ??? Ha Ha Ha !!! You don’t know mom. We do !! The bathroom shelves are always – repeat always – well stocked with shower gels and shampoos and toothpastes and toothbrushes and what have you. The works – basically !! And talking of facial tissues and toilet tissue rolls – let’s not even get to these !! We are yet to see the day when we ran out of tissue at home !! And judging by the way things are going – this possibility does not even seem remotely likely !!

Mom hates SMS language. The sight of SMS language seems to do something to her. Her head starts to shake from side to side and does not seem to stop. Her hands kind of develop a frantic shiver to them. Eyes start to roll. And then come the barrage of complaints. Mom reading SMS language is like a snowball at the top of the mountain. By the time she is through reading the message she is like the snowball which has gathered both speed and snow on its way down to the foothills – destroying everything in its pathway. Sizewise anyways mom resembles the snowball that rests at the foothills after having gathered all that snow on the way down !!! But SMS’s make her a mental snowball too.

When we see mom sitting around with our pencil bags beside her and a sharpener in her hands – we smell trouble. In big, black, block letters. Cos Mom sharpens pencils to de-stress. Whatever that means. But when she’s sitting with a whole load of pencils and a sharpener (at times we find her sitting bang next to the dustbin so that not a single scrap of pencil shred lands on the floor or furniture) – it is like a neon billboard saying “Keep Away” “Danger – Possibility of Explosives/Explosions Abound”.

Talking about mom’s quirks is like opening the Pandora’s Box. And you, aunties, asked us to list out five ……

Did we not say right at the very beginning that stopping at five was going to be extremely difficult.

P.S : Hey Mom – we know this does make you sound batty, wacky, barmy and quite loopy. But to your credit, we must say that Doctor Who once said

“Anyone remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another”.

Signing off

A & A

post signature

29 voice(s) said so:

gr8mom2 said...

LOL, this was the best quirk tag I've read till now.....!!!

hahaha!!

DotMom said...

lol. i am a stocker too :)

the mad momma said...

LOL! Oh yes.. I am storing for the air raids too.. and i think i barely cook because i know that i will end up spending more time cleaning!!

choxbox said...

that was fun to read! LOl at sharpeners! n3 literally runs when her pencil needs sharpening - she knows i'll try to beat her to it!

DotMom said...

tagged

Sunita said...

:) LOL ..Interesting.

rbdans said...

I can't stop laughing :)
Waving hands, whole of HK coming for lunch/dinner followed by a shower - the best.

Fuzzylogic said...

ROFL!I could picture you in my mind venting out your stress sharpening the pencils and it cracked me up:)very cutely done!Kids your mom's quirky indeed;)

~nm said...

Loved reading them! :D

Moppet's Mom said...

Destress Pencil Sharpening! Now there's a quirk! :-)

Much-o fun-o!

Parul said...

Cool quirks!! I totally agree with the mopping of water, its hateful to touch dishes that are still wet. Glad you came by, dear lady. As a thank you, you are TAGGED. HA HA HA!!!

Usha said...

Gauri, you are just amazing and adorable! Loved every one of those quirks.

Kodi's Mom said...

A & A! you guys are such thoughtful kids to share the burden of tags with your mom, please tell her that we love her all the more for these -
and even if the whole of HK doesnt show up for dinner, the whole of mommy blogosphere just might :)

ps: what is with that pencil sharpening?? wierd, she is! ;)

Tharini said...

cutie pies for doing this tag and so brilliantly at that!

LOL @ loopholes the size of grand canyon! And the mental snowball. Beautiful imagery Gauri.

And pencil sharpeners. When I read that....I was just hoping that u were close to the dustbin, when the bery niext line revealed just that!

Crazy girl!

mnamma said...

Quirky quirky Mom you have Apy and Abhay! The Mental snow ball and the kitchen stocker qurik were the best :)

NainaAshley said...

LOL! Well written post as usual!
I'm with you on stocking the fridge and mopping the floor.

Gauri said...

A & A said

Thank you Aunties :-) First time we tried our "tag" skills. Not bad eh ??

Aunty Parul : Mom said to tell you that she probably ought to kill you for tagging her again :-)

Aunty Kodi's Mom : You're most welcome anytime :-)

Aunty T : Bingo !!! Spot on !!! Crazy - oh you bet !! :-)

Anitha said...

LOL! You write wonderfully Gauri. I am big time on spelling mistakes,just cannot stand them. I do the stocking up as well, but 2 fridges!! oh man, clearly comes under OCD category, not quirk.

Trishna said...

Gauri .. you are tagged! I cheated a little.. but you are IT. :) Still havent read this one.. will come back and read it!

Dee said...

Hi Gauri..it was so much fun reading about your quirks :)

starry nights said...

This was the most interesting tag to read.made me laugh.I think I look for loopholes in a movie too.

Random Thoughts said...
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Itchingtowrite said...

hey A &A , your mom has company in our mom on no 2- she keeps mopping the kitchen top and screaming at us all day for dropping water all over the place.
we would love to come to your place- my mom keeps housekeeping the fridge - she likes the fridge empty and spacious

Swati said...

"she made it a point to wear her eyeliner and perfume before rushing off to the hospital." Hahhahaha..thats extremely funny...I know someone who had nails painted before going to hospital :D

But one thing that stands out is you are a systematic person.

Very well written.

Orchid said...

Quirky! Quirky! well done really and god are we similar..I hate the sms language too :)

Squiggles Mom said...

That was fun! I do the movie loop hole thing too :).

Something to Say said...

O awesome A& A - I share a few quirks with your mommy - the eyeliner one, and the stocking for a war one, and the arm waving, esp the looking for loopholes in film stories - thats my fav, and spelling mistakes...oooo you've really got me there....
gauri - you truly are my soul sister in quirks.....

Lavs said...

Ha ha ha. I can totally and completely identify with your OCD about stocking toiletries. I too do it coz I am perpetually scared that one day while taking bath, I would find myself out of soap or shampoo. I fear water stoppage hence fill my bucket to the brim before wetting myself.

Now I know where to find a house in HK, next to yours coz your fridge is always stocked. You will let me eat at your place na?? I do not mind gourmet:-)

Just Like That said...

A&A, brilliant job!
LOL at the eyeliner and the PENCIL SHARPENING? Now that's a new one, for sure. I mop, and I spot spelling/punctuation errors too. LOL at the waving hands and the Grnad Canyon loopholes