21 May, 2007

Mr. Exasperation - The Antonym Mode

Abhay is into the “Antonym Mode” of late.

By of late, I mean over the past couple of months or so. And by “Antonym Mode” what I’m trying to say, very politely, of course, is that he is being absolutely, utterly, totally and completely exasperating.

When we first saw him changing gears and slipping into the Antonym Mode, we thought it was just another phase. But this “phase” is nowhere near over. It is still on in full swing and keeps getting stronger by the day. The “end of this phase” is nowhere in sight.

A normal conversation with him would go something like this

“Abhay can you come here please ?”
“No, I want to come there”.
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
~ Franklin P. Jones.

“Abhay please sit down”
“No, I want to sit up”

"Abhay please stand up”
“No, I want to stand down”

“Abhay, let’s go there”
“No, I want to go here”

“Abhay, put the pillows down on the bed”
“No, I want to put the pillow up on the bed”

And then again, ...........

there are those inevitable mealtimes. They are such god-given opportunities for him to unleash his potential to the fullest. Because that is when he is totally primed for action, that is when he is at his exasperating best.

First salvo – a whole barrage of “I don’t want to eat” repeated continuously every other second.

Second salvo – the food storage facility – I mean on the sides of the mouth. The way he stores food on the insides of his mouth (instead of just chewing and swallowing it) would put a “about to hibernate” bear to shame.

Third and most lethal salvo – “Chlap Chlap Chlap” – that’s the sound he makes with food in his mouth. And he knows only too well that this brings about some kind of a metamorphosis in his mother. She rather begins to look, to put things mildly, as though she’s swallowed a bee.

Mission Accomplished !!!!!! Yaaaaayyyy !!!!!!!

A few more of his parents’ Crowning Glories have turned grey !!!!!!!

And then again, ...........

there is the stonewalling method.

To any given question, however innocuous it may be, the answer that flies back is

“I don’t want to tell you”.

And then again ..........

There is the most lethal of all his weapons.

In any given situation, if he senses that the other person is getting tough with him and succeeding, out flies the statement

“I don’t want to talk to you”.

We can’t wait to see the day when he grows out of this particular phase. It is so hair splittingly maddening, so infuriatingly vexing, so irritatingly provoking and so incredibly exhausting.

And the thought that is utmost sobering is when we ask ourselves

“If his current phase is so aggravating, what’s the next phase going to be like ?”

that is assuming, of course, that he outgrows the current one !!!!!

6 voice(s) said so:

Orchid said...

oh boy!! tell me about the antonym mode!..i am clueless, so can't offer much help!
btw, happy b'day to Abhay and his dad!

Kodi's Mom said...

oops, sorry, I guess this wasn't meant to be funny - but I so couldn't help laughing at how he drives you crazy :)

blame my LOLs on your excellent writing!

Gauri said...

Orchid : Thanks for the wishes.

Kodi's Mom : Well, atleast our predicament is making someone laugh :-) We shall consider our good deed for the day done !!

Rohini said...

Does it ever get easier????????!!!

Sunita said...

:) Can't help smiling. I know will get there someday myself but till then can smile.
You do have an interesting blog up here.

noon said...

Oh dear - all this and more to look forward to as the child grows up!
And yup it is funny though to read about it as long as you are not the one experiencing it! :)