08 September, 2006

The weekend cometh .........

Last day of the week today – as far as the school week goes.

But the little guy does not know that. As far as he is concerned, mornings are something he would rather not face. If he could have his way, I guess, he would make do with the day starting off in the afternoons. But then, like the saying goes, “If wishes were horses …………”

Vic got back from China yesterday and today morning, once Abhay had had his shower, he rushed to his dad. I was just walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water for Vic when I thought I heard Abhay saying something to Vic.

Turned around, found him plonked on Daddy’s lap with those spindly little arms around his Dad’s neck. I could not believe what I heard Abhay say. He was almost in tears and was telling his Dad in right earnest “Nekku Azha Varadhu” (I feel like crying). Dad was just as flabbergasted as Mum was. He said that a couple of times and then started crying.

A while later, I told him that I would put on a Magic English CD for him (Magic English CDs are quite a fave with him) while I got his breakfast ready – and he clambered onto my lap, threw his arms around my neck and wanted to be rocked.

Basically, he knew the schedule. After breakfast, would come the “lets put on your uniform” time and then he would have to face his demons – the going to school bit.

Today too, the tears started to flow quite copiously and what makes it even more difficult to bear is the fact that they are silent tears. There is no screaming, shouting, raving, ranting neither is there any tantrum – not that a tantrum would make things easier. Quite the contrary. But, I guess, to be honest, a tantrum would give a parent justification enough to get slightly mad  and that would be a distraction for the parent.

This little guy is definitely having a much tougher time adjusting, coping and coming to terms with the “separation anxiety” bit than we had thought.

Like the earlier days, once we got out of the house, he was in a hurry to get into the class and once into the classroom, he walked straight in. I had to call out to him to ask him to carry his bag in and put it in his cubby. He did come to the door, he did take the backpack from me and like I normally do I started to say “Bye ……”.

His reaction – he tried to close the door on my face. I cannot even begin to imagine the extent of anxiety, disquiet or rather angst that the little fellow is going through.

My feelings of worry were compounded by an incident which took place yesterday.

I got him back from school and once home, Abhay seemed to be in a terrible hurry to get his school clothes off. Only once he had pulled his pants down did we realise why. The kids had been, like is normally the case, taken to the toilet around 11.10 am. After he was done with his toilet stuff, he had pulled his underpants up by himself. We are teaching him to do this at home too. But more often than not, in a hurry to get going onto something else, he does not pull them up properly. Apparently, the same thing had happened at school. He had not pulled his underpants up properly and the elastic band was caught where it definitely should not have been.

And, the worst part was, no one, absolutely no grown up in the school had noticed !!

There is supposed to be a amah in the washroom with the kids for precisely such reasons – basically to help the kids out and I wonder, What in the Name of Dear God had she been doing ?

And he had been sitting with that discomfort and pain in the classroom without squirming or fidgeting until I went over to fetch him and get him back home. He felt safe enough to express his discomfort only within the safe confines of “home”.

What I felt, the emotions that crossed my mind – I cannot possibly put into words.

I felt for him – very very badly. Even as I write this, I am trying very very hard not to give in to the tumult, the turbulence which is threatening to find its way out through the corners of my eyes.

Aside of this, I remember feeling white hot rage, blinding anger at the others in the school who are supposedly higher on the chronological age ladder – the so called adults.

Am I being unreasonable ?? At this point of time, caught up in emotions that I am, I most definitely don’t think so. Maybe, just maybe, at a later stage, when I look back and think about it, it may seem a shade beyond the range of rationality or equanimity. But as of yesterday, all I felt was outrage.

Did speak to his teacher about it today morning when I went to school to drop him off and she has assured me that she will personally keep an eye on him.

When I went over to fetch him from school, he came running out of the classroom with a smile on his face. And sure enough, his underpants had been properly pulled up and even his T shirt had been neatly tucked into his shorts.

Asked him what he ate at school for snack and he said “I eat apple”. Asked him whether he ate biscuits as well and I got a crinkled up nose and a shake of the head in the negative in reply to that.

Coming back home was doubly fun today because it had been pouring cats and dogs and there were huge puddles on the way home. “Puddhles – that’s a puddhle”. And to compound the kids’ delight, when we reached the flight of stairs there was a steady stream of water flowing down the stairs.

All the kids had a nice time and for quite a while there was the steady drone of a variety of squeaks and squeals of delight all around.

10 voice(s) said so:

Sush said...

aaaaaaaaaaahh... the poor baby.. :-(.

Must say he acted too grownup with loooooaads of patience...

Hope no more such discomfort to him ever again.

Hunky Dude said...

yup..must've been tough for the kid..lets take it as just another experience in life..the dude's just started on his way to becoming a man..and if his recent ways are anythin' to go by,things ahead look pretty kool..way to go Abhay!

mommyof2 said...

ouch!! Teach him to tell someone if something is hurting or bothering him cuz you never know how much they really watch kids in the schools.

k's mom said...

awww man! why does this whole school going thing have to be sooooo hard? Your rage is perfectly justified. Like mommyof2 said, it would be a good idea to encourage the kid that it is ok to express his pain/discomfort, instead of having to suffer through it. Poor darling! (yet brave!) Give him a hug on mine and Kodi's behalf :))

Tharini said...

Awww...poor baby. I feel how bad you must have felt. He showed remarkabl patience and resilience. I feel so sad reading this. Just remembering his sweetface in his uniform on his first day with that radiant smile.

Lots ofhugs to the little man.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you must have felt......completely outraged but still can't blow the matter totally out of proportion. (you must have want to yell so so loud at the staff for all the pain that was caused to your little one :-(( )

A big hug to your little boy.

k's mom said...

You've been tagged! Check my blog!

Ardra said...

I understand completely- caught up with all u'r posts and cud so relate to all the seperation anxiety you faced- i can still remember my first days with my sons' school-
but now one is in XIth and the other is in VIth and now when they have holidays- my sympathies are all with me! :-)

so you take care

Neera said...

Just read this post from the link to your new post and couldn't resist from commenting. It brought tears to my eyes as well :( If only all adults, especially at school understand what it takes for 3 something year old kids to leave the confines of home, all that they have been used to from birth up and the amount of trust parents invest in them to be leaving their children with them. I am so glad Abhay is enjoying school now and I hope he gets more teachers like Ms S who are able to put his and your anxieties to rest.

Preethi said...

I came back to read this post.. I am so glad things have changed for him... you wont believe how much.. I can imagine what you must have gone through... very touching.. you have written this so well