04 September, 2006

Little Musings .........

Today was Abhay's second day at the kindergarten. He was OK when we left home. I had explained to him or rather kept explaining to him that I would drop him off at the kindergarten at 9 am and be back at 10 am to fetch him and take him back home.

The first two working days for the new kids was just an hour each - hence the 10 am "Mommy's going to be back" time.

We reached the flight of stairs we had to walk down and he put his hands up wanting to be carried. I had to redirect his attention towards the flight of stairs. He loves to climb up and down stairs. That got him !!

Off we went, down the stairs and into the kindergarten. Today we were just on time. Again on purpose - I did not want to linger around there. And there she was -the supervisor of the kindergarten standing there with a huge bell in her hands - a la Santa Claus. Only difference being that this would have made one hell of a skinny Santa.

When we reached the door of the classroom Abhay did do a double take - turned around - as in "Hey I don't want to have anything to do with this place" with that look "Hey Mom - don't you get it ?? Seriously ??".

Unfortunately for him - No - Mommy did not get it !!

He was breaking into a huge bout of sniffles with his face all awry when one of his teachers came over with a huge smile and a big "Good Morning" and took his little palm in hers and said "Let's go and get you seated shall we ?". I handed his school backpack to the other teacher in the class and left, telling her that I would be back at 10 am.

I've kind of been thinking about this -

"What hurts parents more ?" - is it the time when we see our children going through separation anxiety or is it the time when they actually want to spread their wings and soar out into the open blue sky - ON THEIR OWN - that is to say when the parents go through their share of separation anxiety.

We are getting to see both phases now.

In Abhay - it is one of dependency, of reliance - on his parents - for everything.
He is, nowadays, in the throes of confusion - brought about by the desire, the yearning of the comfort of relying on his parents for everything for a while longer and on the other hand, the present challenge of school which demands that he be self reliant to a great extent.

Each day, as I take him over to school, I would give just about anything to be able to know what goes through that mind of his.

To be honest, aside of knowing that he is not comfortable with the idea of going to school and being there by himself - I have no clue as to what crosses his mind.

With Appu - she is at a phase where she knows her individuality, her uniqueness and therein lies the root for her need for distinctiveness. She is just beginning to spread her wings. She is beginning to step into a stage wherein the school, her friends, her peers begin to take precedence.

I guess this is the cycle of life. We've been through these phases and now our kids are going through it. It just keeps getting passed generation to generation.

The only plausible difference between us as children and us as parents is the fact that the present generation of parents is a lot more permissible than was the case with the past generation of parents.

The realisation, when it does, hits hard. A child needs his/her parents support while at the same time the parents have to ensure that they do not smother their child in their attempt to support him/her.

Like Sloan Wilson once said "The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard."

1 voice(s) said so:

mommyof2 said...

nice post gauri.. So how did he react when you went to pick him up?