19 September, 2006

A few moments of silent introspection .....

During Abhay’s first week at school, his teacher asked me “Does he speak ?” . I found this question a little weird because at home he is full of “What’s that ?” and “What’s this ?” . Full of questions !!

Also, we are almost invariably subjected to a constant barrage of “Abhay trying out his vocabulary” instances – many of them absolutely rib tickling !!

Like for instance, normally he looks at the aquarium in the living room and says “Fishy swimming in the water”. And when I would feed the fishes, I would always have a very very interested spectator besides me muttering “Fishy eating mum mum”. Used to provide me with a very convenient window of opportunity to tell him “See – do they trouble me ? They even eat their mum mum without asking for cartoons on the TV”. Now if the question is put across to him in the mornings “Abhay what are the fishes doing ?” he says “Fishy eating breakfast”.

Yesterday evening he was watching, with total and complete fascination, the fishes opening and closing their little mouths almost constantly as they bobbed along in the water or gently twirling their fins and tails, as they swam along lazily. And then he quips “Fishy drinking water ?”. I could not really figure out whether that was a question or a statement from the little guy. Basically, there is a lot of input and a lot of feedback too. A lot of curiosity which demands to be answered, a lot of questions which demand resolution.

For reasons best known to him, as of now, because none of us have any clue, he quite steadfastly refuses to be drawn into a conversation at school with his teachers. Yesterday morning, one of his teachers was repeatedly saying “Good Morning” to him and he even refused to look at her. I’m sure he has his reasons but we don’t know them as yet. And I also gathered from his teacher yesterday that he does not really communicate during the classroom time as well.

All in all, I was pretty much confused and fuming when I got back home. “Why is he behaving like this ?” was the question foremost on my mind. I worked myself up into such a state that I began to kind of get irritated with his behaviour. I began to actually wonder whether at all he would get used to actually communicating and behaving socially at school.

I was kind of thinking about it through most of the day and I felt ashamed of myself. How quick I had been to doubt his abilities !!! And not for one moment had I even stopped to consider that he might actually be having some predicament or maybe some factor in school posing some kind of quandary that is bringing about such behaviour. Possibly, he just is not able to communicate it to us effectively enough for us to try and do something about it. And here I was, feeling annoyed about the way he was behaving at school.

I felt mortified at myself for having thought that way. Especially more so, when I found myself at the receiving end of unequivocal and unconditional affection from the little guy yesterday.

We, as human beings, are so quick to cast our doubts and shadows along, while what fades into the background a little too quickly for comfort is all the positive traits in a person. And that was precisely what I did yesterday.

And I am most definitely not proud of myself for having entertained doubts about his abilities and his capacities, albeit for a short span of time.

3 voice(s) said so:

Tharini said...

It just sounds to me like he is still on 'observe' mode in school. Perhaps he needs a lot of time to absorb all that goes on, before he decides to get fully involved.

Akhil was that way for nearly a month or even two. Wud just do hwat was given to him, be content to quietly watch the rest of the kids in action, and never say a word or sing during circle time.

His teacher assured me that this was his observe mode....part of the process of getting settled in a place.

I think little boys are really full of the hidden feelings. And their Geminian traits (having two personalities) is what we see.

mommyof2 said...

Ask him everyday about what he did in school? Did he talk to any body? If not then ask him why? And encourge him on talking. I feel silly telling you this as I am new to this and you already have had experience but I think sometimes we know things but can't think of them at the right time until someone mentioned it(I am talking about myself:-)

Maybe one day talk something to school & ask Abhay to give it to everyone. This way he will be introduced to everyone properly;-)

We took leaves to give for 2 days. Then one day packs of blueberry muffins for everyone in his class & next door class. The next day when we were standing outside his class so many kids came upto him from the other class & said hi to him:-)He had leaves in hands & they were asking him to give them:-) Taking leaves has become our everydays routine now:-)

You help him mingle if he is shy.

Hunky Dude said...

hmm...good ideas i mus say....
give the dude some more time n he sure will be the most popular guy around...all in good time!